You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
