..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
