This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
