remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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