And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Operation Purity has been aborted
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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