Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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