we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize