Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
