I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
