I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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