Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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