he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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