so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
