I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
