Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
