he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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