Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
