your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize