I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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