Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
