I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
