Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
