Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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