then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
