i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
