i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
