oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
