Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
