So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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