Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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