i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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