Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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