k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and she was petting her beer can
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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