This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
