Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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