im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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