recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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