Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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