Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
