Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
they're like a gay fantastic four
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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