I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
