i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
