would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He did a backflip because drugs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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