I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
