Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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