Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
