There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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