the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
