I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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