shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
