I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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