Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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