I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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