Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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