Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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