dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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