The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
