I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Holy sore nipples Batman
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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