Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
