Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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