I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
