No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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